A phone conversation with Mom

Mom: Les, I need your help.

Me: What's up?

Mom: I think I discovered the source of my sleeping problems. I think I have so much trouble falling asleep because I'm afraid I'll have sad dreams.

Me: So how do you want me to help?

Mom: Well, I thought that if I could find a way to trick myself into thinking that I was already sad I would be able to fall asleep because I wouldn't be afraid of having sad dreams.

Me: So you want me to....?

Mom: Tell me the names of the most gut-wrenchingly sad movies you can think of and I'll watch one every night before I go to bed.

_____________________________


Folks, I am not making this up. I love my family.

A brief lesson in irony

My last week of freedom before starting a new job was dampered by the fact that my two months of unemployment have left me with no money. I've been spending my time reading which is very relaxing and something that I haven't done in a while but I have to say I am looking forward to tomorrow....and a pay check.

Once I get that pay check, though, I'm fairly certain that my feelings will change.

Road trip!

As of noon tomorrow, I will be well on my way to the city of cheese, dreams, and the Kohler museum of plumbing fixtures. You guessed correct my friends, I'M GOING TO SHEBOYGAN!

I'm meeting up with my family for a mini family reunion and driving my super cool aunt and uncle back to the cities with me to spend a few days before they fly home to Seattle.

While it's not the ideal location for a road trip (I would have much rather driven to the Grand Canyon, Seattle, or Boulder) it will still be a great way to spend a few days before I start my job on the 30th.

Try not to be too jealous of me while I bask in the glory of the famous bathrooms of the Kohler Museum.

Relief!

I am now officially EMPLOYED! I start in two weeks which is great because my car is being dumb again and I've pretty much entered the Danger Zone of my bank account. Along with the offer, however, came news of a bunch of projects that have recently come up and, since I will be the only one with my job title in that department, I will immediately have a crapload of work on my plate.

So now, how do I spend my last two weeks of freedom?

Why do I suspect that's NOT powdered sugar on your nose?

Last night I was in a public restroom minding my own business in the stall when I hear a few soft snorting noises coming from the stall next to me. Immediately I was taken back to the summer I lived in London and smiled as I remembered my shock upon hearing those same noises for the first time in the bathrooms of the drug-infested dance clubs I went to occasionally. I suddenly heard some very loud, forceful snorts and then a nasty cough-sneeze and looked down in horror to see blood spattered all over the floor of my neighboring stall. Before I could make up my mind to yell out in disgust or peek under the stall wall to look for signs of an overdose I heard her toilet flush and saw her walk out of the stall as if nothing had happened. I looked at her in grotesque awe as she casually walked away from the blood-splattered floor and left the bathroom.

So remember kids: Be cool, stay in school. And don't do drugs. If you do, you'll wind up like some nasty woman sneezing blood all over the floor of a public restroom.

Zombified

So I now have two situations that will not get resolved until next week. One of which is utterly CONSUMING my mind. It has been ages since I have been consumed like this and it's starting to freak me out because it seems that it is completely out of my control. Every waking second is spent on plotting Scenario A or imagining Scenario B. I am also back to being a raging insomniac because I can't stop thinking about this stuff. I haven't fallen asleep before 3:30am since last Thursday. Even my dreams are being invaded by all of this. I'm starting to slowly unravel as the week crawls on and I won't find out about the job until Monday.

Needless to say, this week is interminable.

I think that I'd like to give out hugs for a living...is that a career goal?

I had a job interview today. I've fallen in love with the position and if I don't get it I'm seriously going to be SOL because I haven't really been looking elsewhere for positions.

I think the interview went really well. We talked for an hour and a half, she told me how much she liked my skills and how everyone else really liked me as well. She took me out and introduced me to the people that I would be managing as "Heide's potential replacement".

And then she told me she has a bunch more interviews scheduled this week and that she'll let me know....

Cross your fingers....?