Tuesday, February 20, 2007

It smelled like something pooped and then died in my mouth

I must preface this post by saying that I am very conscientious about oral hygiene. I try to brush AND use mouthwash twice a day. Yes, I don’t floss as much as I should but whatever. With that being said, I’m very aware of my breath when I’m at work. I usually keep a supply of mints in my desk but today I was plum out. As luck would have it today was also one of those bad breath days that you have nightmares about. I don’t know if it was left over from what I ate last night or what but it was bad. There’s usually food or something laying around the office that you can “freshen up” with but today there was just coffee…great. About 15 minutes before I was about to duck out and go to lunch someone came into the office and broke down in tears. It’s really awkward trying to empathize with someone and make them feel better when you feel like you’re dropping a stink bomb every time you open your mouth. I'm thinking of sending her an email saying "apology re: halitosis, will have mints next time"

14 comments:

Hedy De Vine said...

eww that's gross.

lesley said...

I know...I felt so bad.

Hedy De Vine said...

I can't believe you are so open with your stank mouth story. And so descriptive.

lesley said...

That's why I was sure to have the preface about my oral hygiene habits. The details were just for you. If I could have saved some of the stank in a vile I would have given it to you with a bow tied around it :)

Hedy De Vine said...

you are sick.

i collected some nosebleed blood in a small vial once. if my mom hadn't throw it away, i'd give it to you.

Jeremy said...

Your breath smells like farts and kitty litter. Or so I would surmise from your description. And Hedy, you don't want to know what I've collected. I'll give you a hint: it was a gallon milk jug full of urine. Oh wait--that pretty much tells you what it was.

Hedy De Vine said...

jeremy, i hope you didn't fill that gallon jug of urine in one sitting. oh wait, guys don't normally sit when they pee, do they?

Elizabeth said...

I didn't believe that onions really made your breath bad, and so I ate a bunch and then went on a first date. Needless to say, that guy has never called me again.

Aliecat said...

I smoke so my breath always smells great...har har.

Oh and Jeremy, I didn't really appreciate that gallon of urine on my doorstep...jeeze...

Hedy De Vine said...

jeremy, why did aliecat get the gallon of urine and not me?! i thought I was your favorite....

Aliecat said...

I think he's making a hair doll out of his pubic hair for you Hedy...lucky...

Hedy De Vine said...

Oh, okay then. That makes me feel much better.

lesley said...

Elizabeth: I've done that myself, only with garlic.

Everyone else: You're all sick. (But I get dibs on Jeremy's TV spooge rag)

poopee shmoopee said...

haha. that made me laugh.

last semester i pulled an all nighter (i musta drank a gallon o f coffee), got two hours sleep (fully dressed) rolled off the bed and went to school.

WITHOUT BRUSHING MY TEETH.

that day i tried to say very little.

which is hard for me.

torture really.