Friday, February 16, 2007

Righty tighty, lefty fuck you

So after I behaved like a 7th grader on Wednesday hiding in the back room of the Chatterbox from someone I didn't care to exchange an awkward "hello" with, karma bit me on the ass and I discovered that I had a flat tire (however, Hedy and I did notice said person walking right past my car as we were leaving...was it karma or a vengeful tire slashing?). It was 1am and freezing outside so there was no way in hell that I was going to stop on the highway and fix it. I lived 5 miles away; I decided to suck it up, risk destroying the tire and drive home where I could fix it in the comfort of my garage.

Those of you who have talked to me in the last week have heard me talking incessantly about the fancy humidifier that I had ordered online (shut up, it was cool). Well the humidifer came, but I had missed all three delivery attempts so now it was waiting for me in a warehouse in Bumblefuck, MN and I had to pick it up before it got sent back to California. Yesterday, I bribed Hedy with two postage stamps and a meal to drive me to the warehouse after she got done with class and then come back and help me change my tire.

Changing the tire would have been easy (after all, Hedy is the tire changing champion of the Midwest) but things don't work like that in my world. After discovering that my jack was missing, Hedy and I proceeded to unload her trunk that was filled with 3 years or so of stuff that she was about to give to the second-hand shop. We got her jack, put the donut on, lowered the car and discovered that the donut was flat too. After we got back from the gas station and were putting the freshly-filled donut on we realized that, between the two of us, we had collectively eaten no more than the amout of a light lunch yet consumed enough coffee to make a trucker go into caffeine-induced seizures. It was time to get our A-game on so we could eat.

We got the donut on. What should have been done in 20 minutes took an hour and a half. Whatever, it was done and time to celebrate with whiskey and a Pizza Luce pizza.

The kicker? The humidifier is defective.


Elizabeth said...


Ok, I have many important things to say in response to this post, but of all of them, the most important is that Pizzeria Luce delivery guys are FUCKING HOT!!

lesley said...

Yeah they are! And last night's guy was no exception. Although, by the time he got there I was dirty and frazzled so he probably thought I was insane.

MN Wedding DJ said...

1. If people really knew the story behind why you thought you were acting like a seventh grader. They would think A. You are a stand-up chick or B. You are a stand-up chick.

2. I can fill up a tank of gas like no other, and that's about it. I'm intimidated by chicks who can fix stuff.

lesley said...

MN: 1. You are the gentleman of all gentlemen. Period.

2. As much as I enjoyed changing the tire last night, I would have been pretty lost without Hedy....She deserves most of the credit.

Sandra said...

I can't believe all of that happened in one night, that SUCKS.

So do you have to shlep the humidifier somewhere to ship it back, gah!!!!!

lesley said...

I have to schlep it back to Bumble, MN to ship or I might be able to arrange a pick up...we'll see how my luck works.

The Ghost of John Brown said...

You have a lovely blog, and I have to say that even when you are convinced that you are good at changing a tire, it always takes that long. At least you weren't in TX on a gravel road where the jack kept sinking so far into the ground that you couldn't prop the car up high enough to put on the tire without deflating it first and then refilling it with a battery powered pump. That would suck.

lesley said...

John: That would suck, I feel sorry for that loser.

I'm glad you like my blog!