Thursday, April 5, 2007

He told me it was because he was older than me

I have horrible vision. Over Christmas, I was riding in the car with my family and we decided to put my vision to the test. I would take off my glasses and see how close we had to be to an approaching billboard in order for me to be able to just barely read what it was advertising. I failed the test. No matter how close the BILLBOARDS got, I was never able to read them.

I don’t know what the technical definition of being “legally blind” is, but I’m pretty darn close.

My mom didn’t believe that I needed glasses. I always wanted to wear them because I thought they were cool so when I told my mom that I actually needed them she accused me of crying wolf.
My mom is a firm believer in “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” so since I could still function with my vision at the time, there was no need for me to wear glasses. I was in third grade and my brother and I were playing a game that involved reading the microwave clock. I was confused why he could read the clock from all the way across the room and I had to be close to the clock to read it. He told me it was because he was older than me; I told him he was full of crap.

My dad snuck me to the eye doctor behind my mom’s back.

13 comments:

Hedy De Vine said...

I think both your mom and your brother are loonies. Your dad sounds cool, though.

lesley said...

I'm actually a lot like my mom...

Aliecat said...

I can see about a half an inch in front of my face without glasses and my prescription changes every year. Soon I'll be wearing glasses on top of contacts...

Abysmal Chick said...

I don't need glasses, but actually convinced the docter I did because I thought they were cool. My dad still accuses me of doing this, but until the day I die, I will lie and SWEAR the glasses corrected my vision. What a wierdo! Really, I should be cursed with bad vision. Oh crap! Don't tell God, ok?

lesley said...

Oh Alie, the joys of being blind!

Abysmal Chick, I went to school with someone who confessed to me that she stared at the sun a bunch when she was growing up because she wanted glasses. Now THAT is a little crazy...

Jeremy said...

Lesley: [moaning] "Mom, I think I have appendicitis!"

Lesley's Mom: "Whatever, you just ate too much Cookie Crisp."

L: "Ungggghhhhh...." [collapses]

LM: "Faker."

lesley said...

Jeremy, you got it!

...I am so ashamed to admit it, but due to the way I was raised I haven't been to the doctor since I was in middle school aside from two times that I was deathly ill.

lesley said...

(but I was never allowed to eat sugary cereal growing up)

Aliecat said...

If my glasses get any stronger I'll have x-ray vision...

Hedy De Vine said...

You haven't even been to the crotch doctor since middle school? How do you know there isn't another head growing down there or something?! Gross!

Elizabeth said...

Yeah, you need to get speculated, Leslie. And I don't mean with glasses.

I'm almost legally blind, too. But your glasses aren't huge coke bottles like mine! Why is that?

Alie, we should wear our glasses out one day and compare thicknesses.

lesley said...

Elizabeth and Hedy, *sigh* I am soo guilty of neglect. I'm using Peru as a catalyst to go take care of all my necessary appointments that I've been putting off.

And Elizabeth, my glasses are pretty thick on the side but I think they used some fancy schmancy laser filing procedure to thin up the lenses a bit.

Bo said...

Maybe it's just me, but I was expecting creepiness to follow this subject line. Glad I was mistaken.

I couldn't have sweet cereal as a child either. My boys can have whatever they want in that department. Their latest favorite is this nasty Reese's (as in the peanut butter cup people) cereal that is so un-effin'-believably sweet it makes an icing rose off a wedding cake taste like a shot of vinegar.