Tuesday, April 24, 2007

It ended with a lift

I’d like you all to meet Audrey.

Audrey is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We have been friends since middle school and our relationship has evolved to that level that’s really annoying to outsiders because we finish eachother’s sentences, read eachother’s minds, and relay information through completely fragmented thoughts. This is exemplified by our conversation last night:

Me: Who knows what's going to come out of [my] Peru trip

Audrey: You and Sean Connery are going to live in the rain forest and make awesome music that kids will skate to for ice shows

Me: HA! Can it be Pierce Brosnan instead?

Audrey: Oooo yeah, better

Me: I thought so

Audrey: Oh hell how about the whole cast of the departed

Me: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Audrey: yeah, pretty much

Me: I'm going to a fancy ball on Saturday as the date of a gay man

Audrey: oh shut up, you're so lucky

That being said, we are complete opposites (see below picture). If we were married, she would most definitely be the wife and I would most definitely be the husband. One could say, we complete each other. (That was overly sappy, feel free to gag)

Unfortunately, Audrey and I only get to see each other once or twice a year. When we do get together, we generally spend half the time catching up or reminiscing and the other half of the time laughing hysterically and wetting our pants. There was the time I completely doused Audrey’s face with Vaseline, lotion, and baby powder and then put enough makeup on her to make her look like a diseased Elizabethan whore for our Shakespeare class project in 8th grade….

There was the time that we were driving with her former boyfriend after going shopping and his car started on fire because his brother tried installing rope lights on the dashboard….

And then there was the time that we randomly made a skit inspired by my bridesmaid dress for my brother’s wedding where we were two gay Germans named Yamas and Yim who were holding beer steins and wearing lederhosen. In addition to creating the character profiles, we ended up choreographing and performing a lederhosen-inspired clog dance that ended with a lift. I wish I could say that we did that when we were fourteen, but I believe it was only two or three years ago.

6 comments:

Hedy De Vine said...

That must've been an ugly bridesmaid dress.

So, who lifted who?

poopee shmoopee said...

cute. i know the feeling. my best friend lives in calgary. which is basically on the other side of the fricking continent. when we do see each other it's like magic.

jose said...

lesley i think your sexy

lesley said...

Hedy, it wasn't the dress that *I* would have chosen....oh, and Audrey was the lifter and I was the liftee.

Poopee, there are times when I think it's great that we live so far apart because it makes the times we see each other more meaningful, but it definitely has its disadvantages as well.

Jose, cool.

Elizabeth said...

Sigh. Yep, more long-distance friend posts. So sad, so sad.

Jesus said...

was i the gay guy? i have a name you know. way to subject position me as the other...