Friday, May 4, 2007

I almost peed my pants on the bus

No joke. Operation Hydration is proving to be more difficult than previously anticipated. I managed to hold it in while running cross-legged, desperately clenching my poor little bladder muscles to my apartment. Who knew that fishing for one's keys could be such a harrowing experience.

12 comments:

Hedy De Vine said...

"running cross-legged" now that's something to be proud of!

I'm amazed at your ability to hold in your pee. Keep up the good work.

lesley said...

Thanks, Hedy! I even received the blue ribbon in grade school for "fewest accidents of the class".

Hedy De Vine said...

The worst part for me isn't usually digging for my keys, it's getting my zipper down in time.

Jeremy said...

With concerted effort and willpower, you can expand your bladder size. I believe in you, Lesley. But just in case, maybe you should get one of these.

lesley said...

Jeremy, I think I would have preferred wetting my pants on the bus over dropping trou and peeing into a jug with a screw-on "spill protector". That is a pretty nifty invention, though. I'd like to meet the person who patented it.

Jesus said...

Story:
i was driving to the library and running some errands with my niece. I had a pop to drink sitting in between my legs, which i forgot that i had dropped, and when i went to open it, it went everywhere in my lap. I was so far from home that i did my errands with a huge pop stain looking like i peed my pants. its all about confidence, i walked into that library and did my shit. No one said anything, not even side glances.

i say, if you pee your pants pretend there is nothing wrong. act caz...but that might not be possible for you.

poopee shmoopee said...

glad you made it. phew!

Elizabeth said...

Awesome. The I almost peed stories are almost as good as the I peed stories. I agree with Hedy on the zipper issue. Cuz when you've made it into the bathroom, somehow it always thinks you're ready to go... I guess "it" here is your bladder or something.

jeffhellenbrand said...

What a success! That's always a scary point to be at. The difference between looking like you peed yourself and having to pee really bad is that when you really do have to go, it's hard to be cool about it. I usually have to unzip my pants (because they're crushing my bladder) and walk hunched-way-over while grimacing.

Abysmal Chick said...

But doesn't the pee feel SOOOO satifying! My old roommate had a similar situation and decided to just piss herself while fumbling for her keys. She figured she could just shower as soon as she got inside. I am very glad I wasn't home at the time.

Hedy De Vine said...

The feeling of pee collecting inside your shoes is so shameful. Believe me, I know.

jose said...

can you post some peru pictures when you return from your studies