Mom: Les, I need your help.
Me: What's up?
Mom: I think I discovered the source of my sleeping problems. I think I have so much trouble falling asleep because I'm afraid I'll have sad dreams.
Me: So how do you want me to help?
Mom: Well, I thought that if I could find a way to trick myself into thinking that I was already sad I would be able to fall asleep because I wouldn't be afraid of having sad dreams.
Me: So you want me to....?
Mom: Tell me the names of the most gut-wrenchingly sad movies you can think of and I'll watch one every night before I go to bed.
Folks, I am not making this up. I love my family.