There’s a woman that takes the same bus home from work as I do and everyday she consistently passes out cold, presumably from exhaustion. I can’t help but smile every time I see her head bob and sway limply to the movements of the bus. I try to stay awake at all costs when I’m on the bus. I generally don’t like falling asleep in public for fear of being robbed but also, more importantly, because public sleepers are subject to laughter and ridicule. A few years ago, before I had a car and when I was working in retail, I was always dead tired every time I had to close the shop and I had to take a hellish 35-minute bus ride through downtown to get home. There was one night in particular when I remember being so extremely exhausted I could hardly move. I was working full-time, taking 17 credits, and had just pulled an all-nighter to complete a midterm paper. As soon as my shift at the shop ended I just wanted to collapse. I got on the bus and passed out. I vaguely recall someone getting on the bus around MCTC and sitting down next to me, but I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. About 20 minutes passed before I came to and realized that I had been sleeping on the shoulder of the guy who sat down next to me. To make matters even more uncomfortable, he had apparently fallen asleep himself and was all snuggled up with me. I jerked up from his shoulder, rang the bell, shared an awkward glance with the stranger, and bolted off the bus. I vowed to never fall asleep in public again.
There is a gorilla head and a thumb hiding in there. Can you find them? Everytime I would look at that patch of wallpaper, I would always look for those spots.
I have a moderately strained relationship with them. He’s a hot shot lawyer and is also quite a bit older than me which meant that he went away to college and moved out when I was in fourth grade. Aside from reminiscing about growing up, the only things we can really talk about are whiskey, jazz music, and red wine.
Sorry, ladies, he’s married too.
You may recall back to my fiasco involving a flat tire and a humidifier from hell. Apparently that was fiasco part I and today I’ve progressed to fiasco part II. I sent back the defective humidifier and was waiting for a new one to be sent back to me. It arrived while I was in Chicago and a friendly neighbor signed for it. When he gave it to me today, I discovered that they only sent me half of the humidifier! What the hell am I going to do with the humidifier stand without the humidifier?! I just got back from a walk/run around the lakes to vent and am now prepared to bring out my big guns to get this shit dealt with. Konichiwa bitches, it’s been over a month since I placed my order- give me a muthafuckin’ refund!
I'm in Chicago now for the week on my action-packed spring break. Actually, there really is no action. I'm at my parents' house in the suburbs laying around doing nothing. In fact, I'm doing so much nothing that I actually considered going to the dentist in place of my mom, just to give me something to do. I'm not complaining, though. It's nice to have a week to lay around and decompress. I am sad I won't be at the Chatterbox tomorrow, though. Maybe I'll go with my brother to the Island Tap tomorrow night and pretend I'm playing musical bingo. I'll draw a picture of someone pooping and it will be just the same. The Island is one of the greatest claims of my town. It is pretty much a storage shed in the back parking lot of one of the buildings on our main street that some guy turned into a bar. Picture Al's diner in Dinkytown with beer. Few people in my stuck-up suburban hell of a town know about it because it is so small and crappy looking on the outside. I hope it stays that way.
