Monday, March 19, 2007

Allow myself to introduce....myself.

This is Lesley:

This is the view from the toilet in the house Lesley grew up in:

There is a gorilla head and a thumb hiding in there. Can you find them? Everytime I would look at that patch of wallpaper, I would always look for those spots.

When we moved into that house EVERY SQUARE INCH of the house was pink. The rooms were painted pink, the ceilings were painted pink, the carpeting was pink, even the garage was pink. The only areas in the house that were not pink was my leopard print bathroom wallpaper (see above picture), the powder room, and the basement-- both of which were turquoise. It was like the 80s exploded in my house. My parents did all they could to minimize the pink, but they only had so much money so we had to settle for some compromises. For instance, we painted over my pink walls with green paint but we had to keep the pink carpeting….so instead of living in a Pepto Bismol bottle of a bedroom, I got to live in a watermelon.

This is my brother and his wife:

I have a moderately strained relationship with them. He’s a hot shot lawyer and is also quite a bit older than me which meant that he went away to college and moved out when I was in fourth grade. Aside from reminiscing about growing up, the only things we can really talk about are whiskey, jazz music, and red wine.

This is my other brother:

Sorry, ladies, he’s married too.

This brother, on the other hand, is one of my best friends. He is a fire fighter paramedic and one of the weirdest people I know (see above picture). We talk on the phone nearly every day….most of the time our conversations involve talking about poop or singing show tunes.

My brothers raised me well. I learned that the most effective way to settle a disagreement is with a swift punch to the kidneys and they made sure I learned how to drink beer, play pool, and play poker like a pro.

15 comments:

Hedy De Vine said...

Your brothers are hot.

Jeremy said...

I say this with a sparkling track record of raging heterosexuality, but I think I, too, want to do your brothers.

lesley said...

Hedy and Jeremy: I'm glad that all the lovin' is going to my brothers...does that mean that I'm one of those who has a "great personality"?

Jeremy said...

No, it just means that your brothers aren't here to punch me in the face for talking about them that way.

Jesus said...

my love for your brothers is immense.

on for being a hot shot lawyer and metrosexual, and the other for being well... himself.

i still remember his shart story as if it were my own.

p.s. i found the thumb!

Hedy De Vine said...

I never said you have a great personality. I like you for your boobas/bazazahs (spelling?).

lesley said...

Jeremy: I don't think that either brother would punch you...My lawyer brother is too metrosexual to do anything of the sort and my other brother would embrace it.

Jesus: Congrats on finding the thumb! Now you just need to find the gorilla...and there's also a high heeled shoe in there, too.

Hedy: "Bazaza's" is how I think to spell it, but since the word is completely made up, it is subject to interpretation. (My boobies thank you for the love)

Hedy De Vine said...

I had a nice time cuddling with you and Elizabeth in the bathroom stall tonight. Oh, and your bazazas too.

Elizabeth said...

When I die can I be buried in Lesley's bazazas?

Your second brother looks like he should be in Erasure.

Hedy De Vine said...

I think I can see Jesus's (the son of god's) face in that wallpaper.

Aliecat said...

I'll chime in for liking Lesley for her funbags...I'm horribly shallow...

Jeremy said...

Can I motorboat them?

lesley said...

Jeremy, only if you use Colgate for smokers first....I don't want my lovlies to get tainted.

Bo said...

So do you want to be "Lesley" or "Lulu Caved" on my link to your blog? I ain't puttin' "Alright, losers..." :)

lesley said...

Whatever you prefer, Bo. Lesley is my real name, whereas Lulucaved is the "blog link". I think I have been linked as both...

I feel so special now :)